I had a go at making my own Big Mac and it was as stressful as participating in Squid Game

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“Hello, welcome to McDonald’s. Can I take your order, please?” I’m not ashamed to say that I’m at McDonald’s far more often than I’d like to admit to the bloke that runs my gym. But at the end of the day, if you’re short on time, cash and your hanger fuse is nearly burnt out, sometimes only a 99p mayo chicken will do. Okay, throw on some cheese bites and a medium Coke, too.

But have you ever wondered what goes on behind that window after you’ve placed your order? Ordering in store, numbered ticket in hand eagerly awaiting your number to be called, you can often see staff members speed around the kitchen bagging fries and flipping burgers, but I’m always intrigued as to what really goes on behind the scenes at the popular fast food chain.

Countless times I’ve heard the mindless middle class suggest that a job at McDonald’s is for those who dropped out of school, insinuating that those who work there aren’t all that bright. “You’ll end up working in McDonald’s if you don’t pass your GCSEs” - almost as if that’s a threat.

READ MORE:I went to McDonald’s to try the Spanish menu and the halloumi fries are golden

As someone who grew up on the council estate, a job’s a job. And when you’ve seen first hand how McDonald’s works, you’d never suggest a lack of intelligence again. I’ve heard so many furious customers say “I could do a better job than that!” and honestly, when I tried, I couldn’t.

I was invited into the kitchen of my local McDonald’s to see if I could make my own Big Mac, as well as watch the experts show me how it’s done. I got a McDonald’s apron and a cap to keep my hair out of my face before heading behind the scenes to see where the magic happens.

I’m not going to lie, I’m no Nigella Lawson in the kitchen. I can poach an egg and whack a pizza in the oven, but I’ve set my tea alight on more than one occasion. Hopefully, I’d be okay getting to grips with making the iconic Big Mac… or maybe not.

I picked up a Big Mac bun - which comprises of three parts - and placed each section into the toaster. I’d put one in backwards, and as a result, it got stuck. Crew members assisted in removing the rogue bun slice, but it was ultimately ruined. Not a great start.

We moved stations and I tried again to toast my bun, with more success this time. Each bun takes around 20 seconds to toast, so I got my Big Mac box ready while I waited. I placed the bottom bun on the left, and the centre slice on top of the crown on the right before adding a shot of Big Mac sauce from what looks like an industrial sized caulking gun to each side.

Then, I got to dress my burger with onions, a healthy helping of lettuce, a slice of cheese and - the best bit - two gherkins side by side. Then you come to the Universal Holding Cabinet (UHC).

Did you think all the meat gets thrown into a box waiting to be picked? Slowly cooling until practically inedible? I did too, but you’d be wrong. The UHC features different drawers for different foods, separating the grilled chicken from the crispy - the beef patties from the filet-o-fish.

From the UHC I picked up two beef patties and placed one on each side of the box before lifting up the central piece of bread to put on top of the base, closing the box to complete the assembly of my burger. Without a watchful eye and very careful instructions, I’m convinced this was the same level of difficulty as putting together a piece of IKEA flat pack.

To be honest, the initial stress felt like I was a contestant in an episode of Squid Game, but I would imagine that after a few practice runs, you get the hang of the routine.

The Big Mac is McDonald’s flagship product and has been sold for more than 50 years. They should ‘stand tall and proud’ in their box, and looking at my creation, it was probably me standing more tall and proud.

I then took the backseat to watch the pros show me how it’s done as supervisor Lisa Hamlett and crew member Sharon showed me how to make the new menu items from the Taste of Spain and Cyprus range.

The two new burgers - the Chicken Fiesta and Spicy Spanish Stack - launched on July 27, and even though it was still the first day of making them, Lisa and her kitchen crew were spinning these burgers from the kitchen in under two minutes flat.

While Lisa dressed the burgers ready for me to try - you can find our verdict on the new menu here - I asked some of the burning questions that customers have about McDonald’s to get the answers straight from the horse’s mouth, so to speak.

She explained that there is no ‘hack’ to getting the hottest fries - but as it is what they sell the most of in a day, they should always be hot. She added: “There’s no hack. The fries take three minutes to cook and we’re constantly putting them down. We have a chart that tells us how many to cook based on how many customers we’re expecting for the time of day, so the fries should always be hot.”

Apple pies are the menu item that takes the longest time to cook at five minutes and 50 seconds, followed by chicken selects, which take four minutes.

McDonald’s, like any company, has targets to hit, and some of those include timeframes in which to get your food out of the kitchen. Lisa explained: “We have different time targets for in store, Drive Thru and McDelivery.

“In the Drive Thru we aim to pass you your food 120 seconds after placing order. Whereas for McDelivery, from placing your order on your phone to receiving a knock on the door, we aim for 20 minutes. In store from when you collect your receipt to picking up your order, it should be 90 seconds.

“Because there are so many ways to order, sometimes these orders hit the kitchen all at the same time. We’ll always do our best to hit those targets but it does depend on arrival rates.”

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Since the pandemic, Lisa says her stores have seen McDelivery orders more than double, with customers more likely to order via their phone, the app or kiosks, rather than order at the counter.

She added: “People are ordering McDelivery more and people tend to order more on the phone rather than at the counter, especially the younger generation. Since the pandemic our delivery business has more than doubled, but it could be that we’re on Just Eat and Deliveroo as well now.”

Sitting in the restaurant enjoying my meal, I felt relieved to be back on the customer side of the kitchen. I have to say, I underestimated the skill, speed and sauce dispensing abilities that are needed to work in McDonald’s, which has given me a new-found respect for fast food hospitality workers.

I will never again let someone tell me they could ‘do a better job’ at McDonald’s, because it’s simply not true. These guys have got their operations down to military precision

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